Friday, September 14, 2012

Stories Runners Tell

I was so excited to run yesterday.  I was feeling well rested, my hips are feeling pretty good and AND it was a most awesome 46 degrees out when I left the house.  That my friends is my kind of running weather.  Slightly chilled to start with and then perfect all the friggin way.

I decided to try for a long run hoping, maybe just maybe it would feel good and I could pull of a half marathon soon.

Hunting season for birds has opened so I made sure I had some orange on and I good thing too since I ran into a bird hunter along the way. Not that I look much like a bird.
I kept the pace pretty easy staying right around 9 minute miles and did great until...

the belly kind of got crampy, or more specifically the guts got crampy.  Real crampy.  Emergency crampy. I need to take care of the problem before it takes care of itself crampy.  I guess orange chicken with veggies and rice was not a good pre run breakfast.

No problem I thought, I had some TP in my SPI belt.  I opened it to double check.  DENIED!  I had taken it out and forgot to put it back in.

I considered my options carefully.

  • Grass or leaves.. no leaves anywhere and all the grass is dried up and scratchy.. not good.
  • Sacrifice an article of clothing.. what I love all my clothes!
  • Waddle very slowly back to my sister in laws house..2 and a half long long miles away
  • Go au naturale ...eww
Luckily I had worn an old long sleeve shirt I didn't care much about and it had been stashed a mile away.

That is really all I need to tell about that story. Thankfully I run on roads that are not traveled often. Seriously.  

The run went okay but not great.  Left hip feels great, right hip bothered me the whole way.  THE WHOLE WAY.  I guess it isn't that big of a bummer then that the half marathon I thought I found here in October has been canceled until next spring.

I had been wishing for a local half marathon in the spring or early summer so that really is perfect.

Anygood runner problem stories lately?


  1. I have to say I've had this issue come up before too, I think most runners who run over a few miles have it this happen at least once and it's never any fun.

  2. Haha I love this story. I would have gone for the grass. I bet you won't forget the TP again any time soon :)

  3. Good thing for quiet roads!!! I'm sorry to hear your hip is still hurting...bummer!

  4. Please tell me you didn't carry the shirt back to your house. Oh man, that is rough!

  5. I HATE pooping emergencies. I run on old country roads near my house- and most of the time I have to GO NOW! so I dart into the weeds or a field and take care of business, and get on with my run. The other day I darted into the weeds and A TRUCK CAME up the road and I was squatting- I could have DIED. I had to quickly weigh my options. 1. Could I duck down and hope they don't notice me (no!) 2. Quickly pull up my pants and act natural (totally what I did) or 3. Continue (never!) I was so freaked out I could not make eye contact with the driver as he drove by. (Another reason to wear sunglasses on runs.) I'm never going on that route AGAIN.
    Kelly (blog-less because I don't want to get sucked in to the time warp of having a blog)

  6. I had to laugh, if only because I've peed at least 5 times in the same half mile stretch of my usual running path. Thanks goodness it's never been #2! But, that may because I won't run outside if the coffee hasn't done its job yet.
    Hope the hip gets better- I've had hip problems (unrelated to running) my whole life, so I know they suck. DO THE PT. It will help, no matter how boring it is. I had to put up with it for over a year before my left hip would stop dislocating just from sitting down (and here's where we return to bathroom humor)- often at the worst times, like on public toilets. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a department store and had to try to get my pants back up and my hip back where it should be. PT IS WORTH IT! I haven't had those issues in a few years.

  7. Nothing worse that an emergency dump on deck. I think I would've sacrificed the shirt also... that grass looks mean.

  8. Yep. Grass does NOT make good TP.
    Neither does poison oak :D

    Glad you had a good solution there with the shirt! Though I must say I am sorry your beautiful run got a bit tarnished. Hopefully no cows were watching!

    Have a great weekend! Yay for FALL. Keep safe, O beautiful bird!

  9. Haha I don't have any #2 (or #1) stories... yet. But I do have one that was... pretty bad.

    I think I'll post about it in my blog... it was a few months ago (I wasn't going to share but... aw hell, why not. haha)

    Let's just say it involves a certain aunt named Flo.

  10. I am cracking up! I LOVE that you shared this! Let's be real: Things like this HAPPEN! I peed in a woods while hiking once... I couldn't wait. Leaves and a lakeshore saved me!


  11. I am extremely jealous of your 46 degrees! I probably won't see that until December.

    I run in the city, so I'd probably get arrested if I tried that. Not that I haven't gotten in distress a time or two... I just do the slow waddle ;)

  12. You are definitely lucky there is no one around... thankfully, my stomach rarely acts up on a run. I'd have no where to hide if it did!

  13. lol! I was just admiring how cute your outfit looked. I got to the part of your story where I realized you were going to have to sacrifice something. It was a total nail-biter! sorry you had to lose part of your ensemble...

    I guess I'd go with whichever article of clothing would cost the least to replace...

  14. What perfect running weather, and a gorgeous outfit too! I haven't had any #2 emergencies, but have #1 emergencies all the time!
    Here in NZ we have a native plant nicknamed 'bushman's friend' for it's nature's own TP qualities - I would have looked around for some of that!

  15. Oh my goodness... glad you 'otherwise' enjoyed your run... once I had to stop into a tanning salon and ask if I could use the washroom and the attendant said yes but that I would have to REMOVE MY SHOES! I almost didn't make it!

    Is that your Handful hat? Looks great on you.

  16. That is a good reason to not go commando; it gives you something to get rid of it you need to. Note to self: never touch old panties or running shirts laying around on the side of a road.

  17. that pic is beautiful!! and wow the things we runners do!

  18. you are very lucky you have roads not often traveled. this sounds exactly like something I would do- i'd sacrifice underwear for sure- then maybe scratchy grass or leaves (i've used those before)

  19. I love your outfit! Glad your story didn't have a disastrous ending. :D


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