I have to admit there have been times during this injury recovery process that I have been very discouraged and frustrated and a little depressed with how slowly it is inching by. Most runners get injured at some point so I am sure that most so you know what that feels like. I would drive to work and see other people out running and hate them just a little bit. Why couldn't that be me.
There were runs I went out and attempted and got no farther than the end of my driveway and could tell it wouldn't be worth it to attempt to run. My quad would feel crampy and mad. I hated that three miles of run walking was the most I could do for about a month.
I cursed all those inspirational words like limitless and unbreakable. Clearly I both had limits and was indeed breakable. Who doesn't have limits. What stupid words for inspiration.
What does a runner do when they can't run? Even biking irritated my quad and since I neither have pool access nor can swim much beyond the doggie paddle, I knew I needed to figure out a plan B.
I knew I would become an crazy angry mama bear if I let myself indulge in self pity and sit on the couch watching reruns eating ice cream. Plan B became run/walk as allowed, yoga, upper body and core strengthening and trying to eat relatively clean. Add in biking and the elliptical as my leg allowed.
I can't go all out clean eating, it backfires on me every time. I like sugar. I like carbs. I like fat.
Then one morning I got up early and started running before sunrise. At the start of mile 2 I realized I still felt good. I didn't need to walk yet. Those words limitless and unbreakable came rebounding back into my head. Yes I have limits on what my body can do, which is why I have to listen to it better so I can go further.
Unbreakable, sure my body is, but my spirit isn't. I am not where I wanted to be with my running certainly, but I didn't let it derail me completely. The words still didn't feel right
Then I saw this on Facebook this morning and I knew at once "unrelenting" was the word I have been searching for.
#IWILL be unrelenting while respecting my body's limits, because I cannot change yesterday, but I can affect tomorrow. I will be unrelenting in my lifelong journey towards a fit and healthy life. Just because I can't run doesn't mean there aren't other things I can do to stay fit.